I have come up with a sure-fire concept for a hit television show, which would be called `A Live Celebrity Gets Eaten by a Shark'.

Eventually everyone has to die, except Elvis.

Another important rule of affair-having: Never be discreet at the office.

The main accomplishment of almost all organized protests is to annoy people who are not in them.

Infiniti ads are part of an exciting new trend called "Advertising Whose Sole Purpose Is to Irritate You."

Speaking of food, English cuisine has received a lot of unfair criticism over the years, but the truth is that it can be a very pleasant surprise to the connoisseur of severely overcooked livestock organs served in lukewarm puddles of congealed grease. England manufactures most of the world's airline food, as well as all the food you ever ate in your junior-high-school cafeteria.

If the security personnel do their job properly, they just might cause you to miss your plane, thereby possibly saving your life.