Line printer paper is strongest at the perforations.

Granted, this system is insane, but we must not let sanity stand in the way of airport security.

What I like best about the telephone is that it keeps you in touch with people, particularly people who want to sell you magazine subscriptions in the middle of the night.

The voice belonged to Mr. Pzyrbovich, an algebra teacher who was always called Mr. P, for obvious reasons. He has a heavy accent, which a lot of kids said made him hard to understand, although to be fair some of these kids would have never understood algebra anyway.

There comes a time in a man's life when he hears the call of the sea. If the man has a brain in his head, he will hang up the phone immediately.

The Internet is the most important single development in the history of human communication since the invention of call waiting.

For people who like peace and quiet: a phoneless cord.