Beneath their surface differences, there are a lot of deep, underlying differences.

When doctors describe pain as experiencing "discomfort," it's like saying Hiroshima experienced "urban renewal".

As the saying goes: "If you're not part of the solution, you're a newspaper columnist."

Because of the level of my chess game, I was able - even against a weak opponent, such as my younger brothers or the dog - to get myself checkmated in under three minutes. I challenge any computer to do it faster.

Never trust anything you read in a travel article. Travel articles appear in publications that sell large, expensive advertisements to tourism-related industries, and these industries do not wish to see articles with headlines like: URUGUAY: DON'T BOTHER.

Long, long ago, before eruptions were invented, the molten lava had to be carried down the mountainside, bucket by bucket, and poured over the sleeping villagers. This took time.

For the benefit of those of you who have real jobs and are not involved in the news business, I should first explain that . . .