The Olympic games should be a matter between individual athletes and the gods. Noisy flag-waving dishonors gods and men alike.

Many years ago I resolved never to bother with New Year's resolutions, and I've stuck with it ever since.

The pilgrims were kicked out of England, quarreled with the Dutch, alienated the Indians, and had an evil reputation among the turkeys.

I've been smoking nearly 50 years now. I just don't feel safe breathing anything I can't see!

I usually lump organized religion, organized labor, and organized crime together. The Mafia gets points for having the best restaurants

The clocks are all turned forward from Funny Time to Right Time. I always remember, "Spring back or Fall in.

Do you suppose it's true, that St. Patrick was a parselmouth, and his muggle friends never knew?