I have been approached now and again about sitcoms, but, with very few exceptions, one simply needs to move to L.A. for at least a year or two these days if one wants to develop a series - which is what writing a pilot means. I've also been approached about writing episodes for sitcoms, but in order to do that one actually has to watch sitcoms. . . . Life's too short for television, and I don't what it on my actual gravestone, HE STARED AT A BOX FOR 10,000 HOURS.

Learning to write for the theatre is learning to be a human being, because the theatre by its very nature makes you deal with other human beings.

All reviews should carry a Surgeon General's warning. The good ones turn your head, the bad ones break your heart.

I think everything should be in verse. 'The New York Times' should be in verse.

I admire pop songs that are perfect at three minutes.

With my plays, when the lights go down, at least the audience isn't thinking, 'Oh, God, two more hours of this.

Ultimately one has to pity these poor souls who know every secret about writing, directing, designing, producing, and acting but are stuck in those miserable day jobs writing reviews. Will somebody help them, please?