aloof, adj. It has always been my habit, ever since junior high school, to ask that question: “What are you thinking?” It is always an act of desperation, and I keep on asking, even though I know it will never work the way I want it to.

Everyone tried with me. And everytime, it felt like the whole point of life was to see if trying was ever enough.

Even though it was hard to see you, it was good to see you.

For I have never wanted a lover, but I have always wanted to love, and to be loved.

And who am I to blow against the wind?

He is much stronger than I think I am. He is mischievous, outgoing, ready to soar through the clouds, while I often feel like the cloud itself.

Maybe relationships could have fractals, too. And maybe the sense of loss was when you're becoming a fractal of what you once were to each other.