The world is becoming like a lunatic asylum run by lunatics.

Once blood is shed in a national quarrel reason and right are swept aside by the rage of angry men.

The conventional heaven with its angels perpetually singing etc nearly drove me mad in my youth and made me an atheist for ten years. My opinion is that we shall be reincarnated.

One day while Lloyd George was making a political speech before a big crowd, a heckler yelled, "Wait a minute, Mr. George. Isn't it true your grandfather used to peddle tinware around here in an oxcart hauled by a donkey?" Lloyd George replied, "I digress just a moment and thank the gentlemen for calling that to my attention. It is true, my dear old grandfather used to peddle tinware with an old cart and a donkey. As a matter of fact, after this meeting is over, if my friend will come with me, I will show him that old cart, but I never knew until this minute what became of the ass."

[The General Staff] maintained three sets of casualty figures, one to fool the public, one to fool the Government and one to fool themselves.

We are fighting Germany, Austria and drink, and as far as I can see, the greatest of these three deadly foes is drink.

A fully equipped duke costs as much to keep up as two Dreadnoughts, and dukes are just as great a terror - and they last longer.