We looked at each other for the last time; nothing is as eloquent as nothing.

It's true, reading too many novels makes you go blind.

Sometimes, comics will make the observation that it's not jokes that are funny, it's characters that are funny. And isn't that true! That's why I always kill jokes. I'm terrible at them, because I get the joke right, but I can't get the character right, and it just goes down like a lead balloon.

When insolvent, pack minimally, with a valise tough enough to be thrown onto a London pavement from a first- or second-floor window. Insist on hotel rooms no higher.

There's a link between bigotry and bad spelling.

The best way to get out of debt is not to seek to get out of debt, but to seek to create wealth

Our lives are not our own. We are bound to others, past and present, and by each crime and every kindness, we birth our future.