Dexter, I love you so much. So, so much, and I probably always will. I just don't like you anymore. I'm sorry.

Dont run before you can walk

If she does have a failing, and it's obviously only a tiny one, it's that she doesn't seem particularly curious about other people, or me, anyway.

Salmon. Salmon, salmon, salmon, salmon. I eat so much salmon at these weddings, twice a year I get this urge to swim upstream.

For the best part of my childhood I visited the local library three or four times a week, hunching in the stacks on a foam rubber stool and devouring children's fiction, classics, salacious thrillers, horror and sci-fi, books about cinema and origami and natural history, to the point where my parents encouraged me to read a little less.

Who do you think you are, Jane Eyre? Grow up. Be sensible. Don't get carried away.

If you have to keep a secret it's because you shouldn't be doing it in the first place