I've always liked Richard Pryor. I've always responded to rhythmic profanity.

I don't even drink Coke. It tastes like robot sweat.

I take pop culture really seriously, I think it's really important, and the stuff that I make...I don't want it to be insubstantial, even if it's about something wacky, like sharpening pencils. I feel like I owe it to myself and I owe it to people who are really interested in pencils and I owe it to anybody to do my due diligence and give them something real.

I've never been good at self-promotion. And my URL is really obscure. And for years and years, there was nothing about me on my website.

I liked sharpening pencils and I was like, "Oh, I wonder if I could get paid to do it." And I figured it out and I did it.

Once you use a toothbrush to clean a pencil sharpener, you should no longer use it to clean your teeth.

Everyone has pencils in their house, no matter how hip and contemporary they are.