To me, if you're lucky enough to make stuff that people will pay money for, do a good job. Really do a good job. Especially if you're talking about real stuff, like terror atrocities and human rights abuses and pencil-sharpening techniques.

I've always liked Richard Pryor. I've always responded to rhythmic profanity.

The way you make money is to do something you don't like to do. And that's how you know you're a virtuous person.

I'm not a professional comedian. Nobody comes to my comedy shows. That's just a little hobby.

The thing I hear about a lot is when people over-sharpen their pencil with a single-blade pocket-sharpener and then when they put the pencil to the page, their tip breaks and pencil points always break irregularly. It always gets all jagged and you have to refresh the point. That's a common complaint.

I would make a comic for Rolling Stone every two weeks, because they're biweekly. And then I would make weekly comics for my weekly papers. It was on two parallel tracks. And then they all got collected in a book.

I didn't dare to dream of making money. But now of course, I've made many thousands of dollars sharpening pencils.