Once you use a toothbrush to clean a pencil sharpener, you should no longer use it to clean your teeth.

I have a really analytical approach to art. And the whole idea that you can't analyze what makes a joke funny...I do not agree with that at all.

I like feeling like I'm discovering something new. That's really a special feeling and also, you don't have it that often. At least, I don't. Maybe I'm not creative enough.

I hate self-publishing; it's a real drag and it takes up a lot of space.

The way you make money is to do something you don't like to do. And that's how you know you're a virtuous person.

I wanted to get paid to sharpen pencils originally just because I thought it would be fun.

People think, "Wow, people in America have so much money, they're sending hundreds of pencils to this guy." I don't think those people realize that most people who are buying these pencils are buying them as art objects or conversation pieces.