I was first published in the newspaper put out by School of The Art Institute of Chicago, where I was a student. I wince to read that story nowadays, but I published it with an odd photo I'd found in a junk shop, and at least I still like the picture. I had a few things in the school paper, and then I got published in a small literary magazine. I hoped I would one day get published in The New Yorker, but I never allowed myself to actually believe it. Getting published is one of those things that feels just as good as you'd hoped it would.
David SedarisI had paid for my folly and, as a reward, was invited to take part in the nest builderโs performance piece. The script was great. โWhen I bleat here, do you want me to just bleat or to really let go and โbleat, bleatโ?โ I asked. โI feel like โbleat, bleating,โ but if Mother/Destroyer is going to be crawling through the birth canal of concertina wire, I donโt want to steal focus, you know what I mean?
David SedarisShe said, โIโm going to have you fired.โ I had two people say that to me today, โIโm going to have you fired.โ Go ahead, be my guest. Iโm wearing a green velvet costume; it doesnโt get any worse than this. Who do these people think they are? Iโm going to have you fired!โ and I wanted to lean over and say, โIโm going to have you killed.
David Sedaris