whenever I read a passage that moves me, I transcribe it in my diary, hoping my fingers might learn what excellence feels like.
David SedarisMost people would have found it grotesque, but when you're in love nothing is so abstract or horrible that it can't be thought of as cute.
David SedarisI felt uncomfortable calling myself a writer until I started with 'The New Yorker,' and then I was like, 'Okay, now you can call yourself that.
David SedarisIt's a common mistake for vacationing Americans to assume that everyone around them is French and therefore speaks no English whatsoever. [...] An experienced traveler could have told by looking at my shoes that I wasn't French. And even if I were French, it's not as if English is some mysterious tribal dialect spoken only by anthropologists and a small population of cannibals.
David SedarisThereโs a lot I donโt tell my father when he calls asking after Amy. He wouldnโt understand that she has no interest in getting married and was, in fact, quite happy to break up with her live-in boyfriend, whom she replaced with an imaginary boyfriend named Ricky. The last time she was asked out by a successful bachelor, Amy hesitated before saying, โThanks for asking, but Iโm really not into white guys right now.
David SedarisI've maintained old friendships, like with people I knew in the nineteen-seventies, but have lost the knack for meeting new people. This has a lot to do with my writing schedule. I don't want to be disturbed, and the willingness to be disturbed is, I think, part of being a good friend.
David Sedaris