It makes me wonder sometimes. Remember a couple years ago, when Mexicans went on strike? It was talked about a little bit but not that much. But some old white people, and there aren't even that many, they put bonnets on, and then they control the news.

The rabbit of Easter. He bring of the chocolate.

I've always been very upfront about the way I write, and I've always used the tools humorists use, such as exaggeration.

Everyone looks retarded once you set your mind to it.

My family isn't really all that different from anyone else's. Well, maybe they're a bit more entertaining.

Paul Rudnick is a champion of truth (and love and great wicked humor) whom we ignore at our peril.

I am a person who feels guilty for crimes I have not committed, or have not committed in years. The police search the train station for a serial rapist and I cover my face with a newspaper, wondering if maybe I did it in my sleep. The last thing I stole was an eight-track tape, but to this day I'm unable to enter a store without feeling like a shoplifter. It's all the anxiety with none of the free stuff.