Anyone who watches even the slightest amount of TV is familiar with the scene: An agent knocks on the door of some seemingly ordinary home or office. The door opens, and the person holding the knob is asked to identify himself. The agent then says, "I'm going to ask you to come with me.
David SedarisI've been keeping a diary for thirty-three years and write in it every morning. Most of it's just whining, but every so often there'll be something I can use later: a joke, a description, a quote. It's an invaluable aid when it comes to winning arguments. 'That's not what you said on February 3, 1996,' I'll say to someone.
David SedarisI've always had a way with the little people, making it a point to humor them without looking down my nose at their wasted empty lives.
David SedarisI had paid for my folly and, as a reward, was invited to take part in the nest builderโs performance piece. The script was great. โWhen I bleat here, do you want me to just bleat or to really let go and โbleat, bleatโ?โ I asked. โI feel like โbleat, bleating,โ but if Mother/Destroyer is going to be crawling through the birth canal of concertina wire, I donโt want to steal focus, you know what I mean?
David Sedaris