What I really hated, of course, was my mind. There must have been an off switch somewhere, but I was damned if I could find it.

It's unrealistic to live your life within such strict parameters.

I spend so much time like living in the past or the future. I mean, I think most people do, really. And the moments when you're really present in your life can be pretty rare, really.

I can't seem to fathom that the things important to me are not important to other people as well, and so I come off sounding like a missionary, someone whose job it is to convert rather than listen.

I always say to young people, "Get the hell out of the United States." Especially if you're young, like if you're 21 or something. Let's say you don't speak any Italian. You're 21. Everyone's going to want to sleep with you and be nice to you. And the best way to learn a language is to sleep with someone from that country.

I like to reserve the right to write about whatever I like.

No one writes dialect better than Flannery O'Connor. No one should even try.