Besides, if I wanted to hear people speaking wall-to-wall French, all I had to do was remove my headphones and participate in what is known as ‘real life,’ a concept as uninviting as a shampoo cocktail.

Their house had real hardcover books in it, and you often saw them lying open on the sofa, the words still warm from being read.

I'm not a reporter but the 'New Yorker' treats everyone like a reporter.

I like listening to books as well, as that way you can iron at the same time.

The good thing about being gay, though, I always believed, is that you didn't make anyone go to a wedding. Nobody wants to go to a wedding. Nobody. It kind of bothers me now that you have to go to gay weddings, too. I don't care. It's still a wedding. And I would give anybody double gifts if they would elope.

When you read comic material and people aren't laughing how do you know they're listening.

I meet people at book signings. My record now, for signing, is ten and a half hours in one sitting.