Reality always outstrips fiction. Whatever you make up, something more incredible always pops up in real life.

I've just swum the length of the Thames. I feel quite tired.

I was depressed as a child. I found it hard to make friends. My favourite thing was locking myself in the bathroom and practising comedy routines.

All human life can be found in an airport.

We sit in a room for months trying to think of funny things.

I'm terribly attention-seeking. It's very different once you get all this attention, though. Because then you want to control it. And you can't exactly.

When you are doing endurance swimming you just need to take in as many carbs as possible to put on as much weight as you can. Basically you can eat whatever you want, which can be quite fun. Everything is guilt-free.