Young people need their own private places which mothers don't belong to, even if they want mother all around the edge of that.

The best way to lose weight is to put the handle of the fridge two inches from the ground.

That's the weird thing about not being married - you can't get regular kissing; you can't be guaranteed of it, and that's a great shame.

Other than my memory being a bit woolly and my knees being a bit creaky, I don't really think there's anything I can't do.

Funny how women are ashamed of their inner fairy whereas men are forever proudly displaying their inner cowboy or fireman

Why would anyone want to be called a size zero or even aspire to being a zero? I don't even understand the thinking behind it, let alone the practicalities. What is all that about?

There is a latent fairy in all women, but look how carefully we have to secrete her in order to be taken seriously. And fairies come in all shapes, colours, sizes and types, they don't have to be fluffy. They can be demanding and furious if hey like. They do, however, have to wear a tiara. That much is compulsory.