If you feel like you want to die, it's time to sit down and make a list of all the things you haven't done yet.

I was the originator of smack. Some guys rattle with smack; with other guys it rolls right off their shoulders like nothing.

You'll find your life greatly simplified if you only worry about stuff you can fix.

How can you possibly be sympathetic to every fool on the planet? Just the other day, I heard a man whining about his hopeless love of cross-dressing. Call me unenlightened, but I started to laugh.

Somebody told me when Abe Lincoln was a young man, studying by firelight, he said, "I will work hard. I will prepare myself. And my time will come." And you know, that's exactly what I said about myself and football - What do you think? Were Abe and I both just lucky ducks?

When I flew from Orlando to Los Angeles in 1960, I sat next to a guy from Disney who was paying 75¢ an acre for land. I thought he was some special kind of fool - and since they built the park, history has proven there was a fool sitting in one of our seats.

I believe that if you die trying to be your best, the world is still a better place.