If you feel like you want to die, it's time to sit down and make a list of all the things you haven't done yet.

I did come up with the term "sack" to describe the devastation I was bringing on the poor, cringing quarterbacks in the NFL. "Sack the quarterback." That was nice. I thought it was lots better than saying, "Jones tackles the QB behind the line for another loss of yardage ..." It had a ring to it, and it caught on with the sports writers. But I tell you, doing it was a lot more fun than talking about it.

It took me a long time to figure out that real big-time success comes from taking lots of small, ordinary steps in the right direction. And you can't ever take the next step until you take the first.

Somebody told me when Abe Lincoln was a young man, studying by firelight, he said, "I will work hard. I will prepare myself. And my time will come." And you know, that's exactly what I said about myself and football - What do you think? Were Abe and I both just lucky ducks?

You hear all this stuff about inner peace. Hey, there's nothing wrong with it, but I say, hit that line hard. Crack that book - Do your very best all the time and inner peace will take care of itself. The Deacon guarantees it.

How can you possibly be sympathetic to every fool on the planet? Just the other day, I heard a man whining about his hopeless love of cross-dressing. Call me unenlightened, but I started to laugh.

All men are created equal. After that, it's up to you.