It took me a long time to figure out that real big-time success comes from taking lots of small, ordinary steps in the right direction. And you can't ever take the next step until you take the first.

There are all kinds of smiles. On the football field I mostly used the one where the hawk spots the dove.

How can you possibly be sympathetic to every fool on the planet? Just the other day, I heard a man whining about his hopeless love of cross-dressing. Call me unenlightened, but I started to laugh.

I never was very big on praying for victory. For God to give a big win to the Denver Broncos, wouldn't He have to take it away from somebody else, say, the Green Bay Packers?

When I was a teenager, I was so dumb my mamma knocked me off the porch with a broom. You wish you had so good a mamma.

When it comes to your life's work, you can't take yourself too seriously. Even Jesus had an occasional joke with the boys, take walking on water, for instance - but there's a time and place for fun. Jesus never faltered when it came time to tip over the money stalls or to take his hard walk up the mountain.

The problem a guy who lies all the time faces is he never can tell when anybody else is telling the truth.