We should have the right to have someone leave when we want, to only allow those in who we want in. But the truth is, people can force their way into your life whenever they choose. If they want to remind you forevermore that they exist, they will. They can reappear in a card or call or a "chance" meeting, they can remember your birthday or the day you met with some innocuous small note. No matter how little they matter in your new life, they can insist on being seen and recognized and remembered.
Deb CalettiThe favorite game of temperamental people is Try to Guess Why Iโm Ticked Off. (Contestant number one, Why do YOU think heโs pissed off? Why, Iโm not sure, Bob, but Iโm going to go with โBecause I Left the Faucet Dripping.โ BEEP. Iโm sorry, thatโs incorrect. The correct answer is: โBecause You Happen to Exist.โ)
Deb CalettiThis is not to say I donโt feel my own grief, which can hit powerfully at unexpected times. Itโs just that the telling does not automatically bring on my own upset, as people assume. I deal more with their reaction than they do with mine, and so you have to choose your timing.
Deb Calettiso what brings you to the doctor today?" "hmm, im afraid i have the chronic desire to save people" "i know about that. i've got it too. maybe it's catching." "not catching enough
Deb Caletti