In your standard-issue family, of which few remain, but on which our expectations are still based, there are parents and there are children. The way you know which are which, aside from certain size and age differences and despite any behavior similarities, is that the parents are the bossy ones.

Preparing for the worst is an activity I have taken up since I turned thirty-five, and the worst actually began to happen.

One quarter of what you buy will turn out to be mistakes.

As for superpower: I wish I could eat a million pastries and not gain weight. I wish I were Pastry Woman.

in the family I grew up in, being called boring was like being called an ax murderer.

Your basic extended family today includes your ex-husband or -wife, your ex's new mate, your new mate, possibly your new mate's ex and any new mate that your new mate's ex has acquired.

Children are a house's enemy. They don't mean to be - they just can't help it. It's their enthusiasm, their energy, their naturally destructive tendencies.