I like Jesus, I mean, I think he was a good guy.

I'm one of the people that when I wake up I have to do what I do. It's not like I want to do it. I kind of have to do it.

The best comedy audiences in the country and this is tried and true, I'm not just saying it, in my opinion are Boston, Atlanta, and Chicago.

My goal is to leave this planet with the biggest carbon footprint I can possibly leave.

My cousin Jerry Lucey and five other firefighters died in a warehouse fire in Worcester, Mass. - my hometown - right in the middle of our old neighborhood downtown when a homeless couple started a fire to keep warm and the entire building went up. My cousin died trying to save homeless people who had already left the building.

I'm really happy I went to a Catholic school because a lot of the repressive tactics they use make for great senses of humor.

When you write about real life, there's always a chance that somebody involved is going to see it and get upset.