Create havoc, create destruction.

The NBA's chosen ones think I'm setting a bad example? I think they need to look around and stop taking themselves so seriously.

I have one regret: I wish I was a better father.

Chemistry is a class you take in high school or college, where you figure out two plus two is 10, or something.

I'll be the judge of my own manliness.

Madonna wasn't an acrobat or anything, but the sex was good. I could tell she liked it.

Why it's been left to me to smooth things over, I don't know. Dennis Rodman, of all people. Keeping us safe is really not my job; it's the black guy's [Obama's] job. But I'll tell you this: If I don't finish in the top three for the next Nobel Peace Prize, something's seriously wrong.