Honestly, this will never happen because she's so much classier than me, but I would love to work with Sofia Coppola.

I really just love to open a blank document and spew, whereas with a screenplay I have to be more judicious.

I have never been an ambitious person, and my participation in this industry is a fluke, but only male writers can afford to be coy and self-deprecating.

Somebody asked me earlier if I thought it was really important to tell stories about women's struggles. And I said yes, but at the same time, it's also important to tell stories about women's triumphs, women being slackers, women being criminals, women being heroes.

The fashion industry isn't merely content to encase my meaty flanks in skintight denim. Oh, no! That denim also has to be white, a color that attracts ketchup, wine, garlic aioli, and any other foodstuffs I might otherwise be able to enjoy if I wasn't wearing ridiculously tight pants.

I would never consent to a lame publicity stunt at a time when I already want to hide.

I am actually able to do other things. I'm not just this writer.