Tabloid photos capture people at their most self-conscious and disoriented; in real life, Paris Hilton is like an elegant paper crane.

I'm a pessimist by nature. I don't think things are ever going to work out, I'm not particularly ambitious.

I normally ignore the History Channel.

Juno MacGuff: I don't know what kind of girl I am.

'Sweet Valley High' is fantastic, fabulous, a little bit campy, and - dare I say it - cinematic.

My boyfriend is Italian and from New Jersey, so naturally he was thrilled to meet Joe Pesci.

Above the stage was a glass-floored second stage, which allowed customers to look up and watch another girl dancing overhead. This multidimensional display of poontang reminded me of the 3-D chessboard on Star Trek, which in turn reminded me that I was a huge nerd.