I want Maggie Gyllenhaal. I don't know why. I don't think she necessarily looks like me or acts like me, I just think she's a cool actress and she could play me, so there you go.

I grew up in the Midwest; you don't know any screenwriters. It didn't seem like a realistic career possibility.

I know white clothing is supposed to enhance that summer glow, but writers don't tan.

Above the stage was a glass-floored second stage, which allowed customers to look up and watch another girl dancing overhead. This multidimensional display of poontang reminded me of the 3-D chessboard on Star Trek, which in turn reminded me that I was a huge nerd.

I've come to find more satisfaction and enjoyment in writing screenplays over the years because that's what I do primarily now.

You know, I did not like being famous. It was a stressful and ugly time, and I'm glad it's over.

I think it's great when writers get recognition; it doesn't happen very often. I just don't want that writer to be me. Let it be Aaron Sorkin or, you know, somebody good.