I never had that desire to start or join a rock band. Nor did I ever have a desire to see my idols in concert. I would have loved to see The Cure. I didn't understand the whole concept of: you love music, you buy the album, and then you go see them in concert. It felt like something that was so untouchable that I didn't even attempt to try and bring it to any place other than my headphones.

I wrestled a lot with self-doubt. I've always had such a strong desire for what I wanted for my career, and as I go through it, I'm watching it change and morph into something a little bit different. So there was a lot of confusion as to whether I really wanted to do it, whether I wanted to go for it, because I put so much energy and effort into it, and it's hard.

For so many years, I haven't been able to wrap my head around the concept of time, just feeling like time is something that I don't have control over. It's such a release of control to finally accept that and then just be present. That's always been a big challenge for me.

It's hard to explain. It probably sounds super silly, but I do have a lot of really weird dreams.

There was a lot of creative energy that I had, that I feel wasn't understood, and I think that whole world for me felt like another family, another place where I could feel heard.

If you're not getting what you want, maybe it's because you're not being heard, you're not speaking loud enough. And it's not necessarily volume-wise. It's about bringing your message and your voice, elevating it and constantly challenging it.

I just think the fact that I was told not to be curious about the dark side, and it was such a religious-heavy upbringing made me interested in goth culture.