In the best of all worlds, the producers would take some responsibility for the kinds of things they're putting out. Unfortunately, they don't.

My brother and I laughed a lot as kids. We came up in the middle of the Depression, and neither one of us knew we were poor. We had nothing, but we didn't know it.

We should never judge a day by its weather.

Bob Hope, like Mark Twain, had a sense of humor that was uniquely American, and like Twain, we'll likely not see another like him.

When I started having kids, I thought, 'I don't want to do anything they can't watch.'

I've made peace with insecurity... because there is no security of any kind.

I've met presidents, but I've never performed for one. I said it was the first time in 50 years I actually had butterflies. You know, the Obamas were sitting out there, the Supreme Court, Maya Angelou, and Desmond Tutu for God's sake, all in the front row.