I ain't what I used to be, but who the hell is?

It ain't braggin' if you really done it.

Anybody who's ever had the privilege of seeing me play knows that I am the greatest pitcher in the world.

I never keep a scorecard or the batting averages. I hate statistics. What I got to know, I keep in my head.

Heck, if anybody told me I was setting a record (strikeouts in a game on July 30, 1933) I'd of got me some more strikeouts.

I only went to the third grade because my father only went to the fourth and I didn't want to pass him.

Why, they shot the wrong McKinley!