I regret the times I've been mean to people... It's fine to pick on people who can defend themselves and deserve it. Some people don't deserve to be picked on who I picked on, so I don't do it anymore.

I'm in a unique position - I can do what I want.

You can't get much more liberal than John Kerry is. I mean, he's my candidate, but, I mean, come on.

I talk to millions of people every day. I just like it when they can't talk back.

I would rather go to Baghdad than go to a professional basketball game.

My view on global warming is that it's a gigantic financial scam to funnel money to these countries that think they ostensibly are going to use to improve conditions in their country, environmentally and so on, but officials use - I guess apparently Tiger Woods did - to hire hookers, ride around in limos and in cases of some of these diplomats and some of these countries buy cocaine.

My goal is to goad people into saying something that ruins their life.