I imagine you come across a number of people who are disconcerted by the difference between what you do feel and what they fancy you ought to feel. It is fatal to pay the smallest attention to them.

I think the most joyous thing in life is to loaf around and watch another bloke do a job of work. Look how popular are the men who dig up London with electric drills. Duke's son, cook's son, son of a hundred kings, people will stand there for hours on end, ear drums splitting. Why? Simply for the pleasure of being idle while watching other people work.

whereas, up to the present, there is only one known way of getting born, there are endless ways of getting killed.

Every great man has a woman behind him ... And every great woman has some man or other in front of her, tripping her up.

Anythin' wrong leaves a kind of impression on the eye; brain trots along afterwards with the warnin'.

Lawyers enjoy a little mystery, you know. Why, if everybody came forward and told the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth straight out, we should all retire to the workhouse.

He had the appeal of a very young dog of a very large breed -- a kind of amiable absurdity.