It is fatal to let people suppose that Christianity is only a mode of feeling; it is vitally necessary to insist that it is first and foremost a rational explanation of the universe.

She reflected she must be completely besotted about Peter, if his laughter could hallow an aspidistra.

I have never yet heard any middle-aged man or woman who worked with his or her brains express any regret for the passing of youth.

What the Church should be telling him [the carpenter] is this: that the very first demand that his religion makes upon him is that he should make good tables.

The great advantage about telling the truth is that nobody ever believes it.

Heroics that don't come off are the very essence of burlesque.

The rule seemed to be that a great woman must either die unwed ... or find a still greater man to marry her. ... The great man, on the other hand, could marry where he liked, not being restricted to great women; indeed, it was often found sweet and commendable in him to choose a woman of no sort of greatness at all.