I had been fed, in my youth, a lot of old wives' tales about the way men would instantly forsake a beautiful woman to flock around a brilliant one. It is but fair to say that, after getting out in the world, I had never seen this happen." [From a column dated November 17, 1928]

[On hearing that President Coolidge was dead:] How can you tell?

She runs the gamut of emotions from A to B.

Just begin a story with such a phrase as 'I remember Disraeli - poor old Dizz! - once saying to me, in answer to my poke in the eye,' and you will find me and Morpheus off in a corner, necking.

Newton's Fourth Law: Every action has an equal and opposite satisfaction.

It's easier to write about those you hate — just as it's easier to criticize a bad play or a bad book.

[On Katharine Hepburn's stage performance:] She ran the whole gamut of emotions, from A to B.