London is satisfied, Paris is resigned, but New York is always hopeful. Always it believes that something good is about to come off, and it must hurry to meet it.

Q: What's the difference between an enzyme and a hormone? A: You can't hear an enzyme.

There must be a magnificent disregard of your reader, for if he cannot follow you, there is nothing you can do about it.

I was always sweet, at first. Oh, it's so easy to be sweet to people before you love them.

Once I was coming down a street in Beverly Hills and I saw a Cadillac about a block long, and out of the side window was a wonderfully slinky mink, and an arm, and at the end of the arm a hand in a white suede glove wrinkled around the wrist, and in the hand was a bagel with a bite out of it.

Yet, as only New Yorkers know, if you can get through the twilight, you'll live through the night.

For a few minutes, everything is so cute that the mind reels.... And then, believe it or not, things get worse. So I shot myself.