As I was saying to the landlord only this morning: 'You can't have everything'.

[On being shown an apartment by a real estate agent:] Oh, dear, that's much too big. All I need is room enough to lay a hat and a few friends.

Los Angeles: Seventy-two suburbs in search of a city.

Now I know the things I know, and I do the things I do; and if you do not like me so, to hell, my love, with you!

It turns out that, at social gatherings, as a source of entertainment, conviviality, and good fun, I rank somewhere between a sprig of parsley and a single ice-skate.

This must be a gift book. That is to say a book, which you wouldn't take on any other terms.

People ought to be one of two things, young or dead.