People Who Do Things exceed my endurance; God, for a man that solicits insurance!

[On hearing that Clare Boothe Luce was invariably kind to her inferiors:] And where does she find them?

There was a reason for the cost of those perfectly plain black dresses.

Benchley and I had an office in the old Life magazine that was so tiny, if it were an inch smaller it would have been adultery.

And if my heart be scarred and burned, The safer, I, for all I learned.

I like to think of my shining tombstone. It gives me, as you might say, something to live for.

Honesty means nothing until you are tested under circumstances where you are sure you could get away with dishonesty.