Hollywood is one place in the world where you can die of encouragement.

You don’t want a general houseworker, do you? Or a traveling companion, quiet, refined, speaks fluent French entirely in the present tense? Or an assistant billiard-maker? Or a private librarian? Or a lady car-washer? Because if you do, I should appreciate your giving me a trial at the job. Any minute now, I am going to become one of the Great Unemployed. I am about to leave literature flat on its face. I don’t want to review books any more. It cuts in too much on my reading.

[On being told party guests were ducking for apples:] There, but for a typographical error, is the story of my life.

Those who have mastered etiquette, who are entirely, impeccably right, would seem to arrive at a point of exquisite dullness.

Authors and actors and artists and such - Never know nothing, and never know much.

I've finally gotten to the bottom of things.

Now, look, baby, 'Union' is spelled with 5 letters. It is not a four-letter word.