All I say is, nobody has any business to go around looking like a horse and behaving as if it were all right. You don't catch horses going around looking like people, do you?

ridicule may be a shield, but it is not a weapon.

The ones I like are ‘cheque’ and ‘enclosed.’

It's easier to write about those you hate — just as it's easier to criticize a bad play or a bad book.

Salary is no object: I want only enough to keep body and soul apart.

There's a hell of a distance between wisecracking and wit. Wit has truth in it; wisecracking is simply calisthenics with words.

Time may be a great healer, but it's a lousy beautician.