[Ryan Reynolds] is my favorite [ on Top Gear] - I think he's the most hilarious actor who just has not been able to catch a break in terms of being known as the most hilarious actor.

I saw a dog in a cage. And that cage had a sign on it that said, 'I bite.' And I was like, 'That is good to know doggy, but that's not the most important thing about you. You should make a sign that says, 'I make signs.''

Big deal... the only cats that don't have three legs are the ones with two through zero legs.

We don't want any pot-smoking vaginas because that's disgusting. And I saw it once in Indonesia, and I've never been able to get it out of my head.

I've always enjoyed things that are popular,I mean, obviously, there are plenty of things that are popular that I hate. But when something like that is done right, I just think they nail it. I just think Modern Family is a really clever show.

You know you drank too much the night before when you wake up with crop circles in your pubes.

Obviously, you take the risk to step over the line any time you do something where comedians interact with each other. Like a roast, somebody's always going to cross over the line. As far as the public goes, I like feedback, I like to hear laughter, and I like the occasional pointed heckle, but it's true: Everybody thinks that they need to express their opinion now. There's been this sea change where people are constantly writing to me directly about stuff, where in the past you'd never hear about it, because nobody would try to find you to make one of their stupid comments.