Stand-up is a very scary, very solitary profession, but you have to experience it to figure out if it's right for you.

If someone wants to make a joke about me smoking too much pot, I'm not going to get mad at them, because I've put it out there that that's what I do.

Marijuana: why forget something tomorrow when you can forget it today?

I'm not trying to recruit anyone. I think minds can be changed, but I also think they don't have to be changed. If someone doesn't want to smoke pot and doesn't think it should be legal, then that's fine, but the numbers that do are going to continue to grow to the point where change will eventually occur.

A talking dog is not the answer. That's not a way to convince people not to smoke pot. If animals started talking to me, I would up my pot consumption just to make that happen.

Why would any woman agree to be on a show called Bridezillas? It's not like men would agree to be on Douchegroom.

Any comedic entertainment is better when you get high.