Stand-up is a very scary, very solitary profession, but you have to experience it to figure out if it's right for you.

I'm not trying to recruit anyone. I think minds can be changed, but I also think they don't have to be changed. If someone doesn't want to smoke pot and doesn't think it should be legal, then that's fine, but the numbers that do are going to continue to grow to the point where change will eventually occur.

I grew up in San Diego, so it wasn't hard to move to L.A. to get into show business, but I did the standard thing of just moving without much money and just seeing if I could make it work.

J-Lo finally married into her own music genre. Crappy music.

Smoking pot makes people talk for long periods of time, for instance, so people who advocate pot won't shut the hell up about it.

Einstein used science to get laid. That guy is a genius. I've been using money.

Do you get a nice monthly check from the government for dwelling on things?