If you stick a Babel fish in your ear you can instantly understand anything said to you in any form of language.

Ahenny (adj.) - The way people stand when examining other people's bookshelves.

I don't say that I don't believe in God because that implies that there is a God for me not to believe in.

Life... is like a grapefruit. It's orange and squishy, and has a few pips in it, and some folks have half a one for breakfast.

It is difficult to be sat on all day, every day, by some other creature, without forming an opinion on them. On the other hand, it is perfectly possible to sit all day, every day, on top of another creature and not have the slightest thought about them whatsoever.

It can hardly be a coincidence that no language on earth has ever produced the expression, 'As pretty as an airport.

If somebody thinks they're a hedgehog, presumably you just give 'em a mirror and a few pictures of hedgehogs and tell them to sort it out for themselves.