The kakapo is an extremely fat bird. A good-sized adult will weigh about six or seven pounds, and its wings are just about good for waggling a bit if it thinks it's about to trip over something - but flying is out of the question. Sadly, however, it seems that not only has the kakapo forgotten how to fly, but it has forgotten that it has forgotten how to fly. Apparently a seriously worried kakapo will sometimes run up a tree and jump out of it, whereupon it flies like a brick and lands in a graceless heap on the ground.
Douglas AdamsBallycumber (ba-li-KUM-ber) n. One of the six half-read books lying somewhere in your bed.
Douglas Adams...and the renewed shock had nearly made him spill his drink. He drained it quickly before anything serious happened to it. He then had another quick one to follow the first one down and check that it was all right.
Douglas AdamsThe longest and most destructive party ever held is now into its fourth generation and still no one shows any signs of leaving. The problem of when the drink is going to run out is, however, going to have to be faced one day. The planet over which they are floating is no longer the planet it was when they first started floating over it. It is in bad shape
Douglas AdamsEverything you see or hear or experience in any way at all is specific to you. You create a universe by perceiving it, so everything in the universe you perceive is specific to you.
Douglas AdamsTrillian had come to suspect that the main reason [Zaphood] had had such a wild and successful life was that he never really understood the significance of anything he did.
Douglas AdamsI like the cover," he said. "Don't Panic. It's the first helpful or intelligible thing anybody's said to me all day.
Douglas AdamsDo you find coming to terms with the mindless tedium of it all presents an interesting challenge?
Douglas AdamsAberystwyth (n.) A nostalgic yearning which is in itself more pleasant than the thing being yearned for.
Douglas AdamsThe Electric Monk was a labour-saving device, like a dishwasher or a video recorder... Electric Monks believed things for you, thus saving you what was becoming an increasingly onerous task, that of believing all the things the world expected you to believe.
Douglas AdamsI love to keep poking and prodding at it. I’ve thought about it so much over the years that that fascination is bound to spill over into my writing.
Douglas AdamsOk," he said, "I don't like to disturb you at what I know must be a difficult and distressing time for you, but I need to know first of all if you actually realize that this is a difficult and distressing time for you.
Douglas AdamsHey, this is terrific!" he said. "Someone down there is trying to kill us!" "Terrific," said Arthur. "But don't you see what this means?" "Yes. We are going to die." "Yes, but apart from that." "Apart from that?!" "It means we must be on to something!" "How soon can we get off it?
Douglas AdamsIsn't it enough to see that a garden is beautiful without having to believe that there are fairies at the bottom of it too?
Douglas AdamsThe car shot forward straight into the circle of light, and suddenly Arthur had a fairly clear idea of what infinity looked like. It wasn’t infinity in fact. Infinity itself looks flat and uninteresting. Looking up into the night sky is looking into infinity—distance is incomprehensible and therefore meaningless. The chamber into which the aircar emerged was anything but infinite, it was just very very very big, so big that it gave the impression of infinity far better than infinity itself.
Douglas AdamsMeanwhile, the poor Babel fish, by effectively removing all barriers to communication between different races and cultures, has caused more and bloodier wars than anything else in the history of creation.
Douglas AdamsEven the evil-looking bird perched on a rod in the bar had stopped screeching out the names and addresses of local contract killers, which was a service it provided for free.
Douglas AdamsIf the Universe came to an end every time there was some uncertainty about what had happened in it, it would never have got beyond the first picosecond. And many of course don't. It's like a human body, you see. A few cuts and bruises here and there don't hurt it. Not even major surgery if it's done properly. Paradoxes are just the scar tissue. Time and space heal themselves up around them and people simply remember a version of events which makes as much sense as they require it to make.
Douglas AdamsIt was his subconscious which told him this - that infuriating part of a person's brain which never responds to interrogation, merely gives little meaningful nudges and then sits humming quietly to itself, saying nothing.
Douglas AdamsFor as long as he could remember, he’d suffered from a vague nagging feeling of being not all there.
Douglas AdamsThere was a point to this story, but it has temporarily escaped the chronicler's mind.
Douglas AdamsOn the delivery plate of the Nutri-Matic Drink Synthesizer was a small tray, on which say three bone china cups and saucers, a bone china jug of milk, a silver teapot full of the best tea Arthur had ever tasted and a small printed note saying "Wait.
Douglas AdamsIn moments of great stress, every life form that exists gives out a tiny subliminal signal.
Douglas AdamsIf there was one thing life had taught her it was that there are times when you do not go back for your bag and times when you do. It had yet to teach her to distinguish between the two types of occasion.
Douglas AdamsThat was it. That was really it. She knew that she had told herself that that was it only seconds earlier, but this was now the final real ulimate it.
Douglas AdamsCan't stand all these poisonous creatures, all these snakes and insects and fish and things. Wretched things, biting everybody. And then people expect me to tell them what to do about it. I'll tell them what to do. Don't get bitten in the first place. (quoting Dr. Struan Sutherland)
Douglas AdamsSolutions nearly always come from the direction you least expect, which means there's no point trying to look in that direction because it won't be coming from there.
Douglas AdamsA computer terminal is not some clunky old television with a typewriter in front of it. It is an interface where the mind and body can connect with the universe and move bits of it about.
Douglas AdamsHaving not said anything the first time, it was somehow even more difficult to broach the subject the second time around.
Douglas AdamsIt is folly to say you know what is happening to other people. Only they know, if they exist. They have their own Universes of their own eyes and ears.
Douglas AdamsBypasses are devices that allow some people to dash from point A to point B very fast while other people dash from point B to point A very fast. People living at point C, being a point directly in between, are often given to wonder what's so great about point A that so many people from point B are so keen to get there and what's so great about point B that so many people from point A are so keen to get there. They often wish that people would just once and for all work out where the hell they wanted to be.
Douglas AdamsThe air was stifling, but he liked it because it was stifling city air, full of excitingly unpleasant smells, dangerous music, and the distant sound of warring police tribes.
Douglas AdamsVery deep. You should send that in to the Reader's Digest. They've got a page for people like you.
Douglas AdamsThere is an art to the business of making sandwiches which it is given to few ever to find the time to explore in depth. It is a simple task, but the opportunities for satisfaction are many and profound.
Douglas AdamsBut the reason I call myself by my childhood name is to remind myself that a scientist must also be absolutely like a child. If he sees a thing, he must say that he sees it, whether it was what he thought he was going to see or not. See first, think later, then test. But always see first. Otherwise you will only see what you were expecting.
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