With the first drink comes the truth, with the second drink comes wishful thinking, and with the third drink come the lies.

If human beings had genuine courage, they'd wear their costumes every day of the year, not just on Halloween.

Your brain forms roughly 10,000 new cells every day, but unless they hook up to preexisting cells with strong memories, they die. Serves them right.

Why do most of us make such boring choices for the stories of our lives?

Figure our what it is you don't do very well, and then don't do it. I'm not beating myself up about doing everything perfectly. The litmus test I always use for myself is: "Okay, if you won 20 million tomorrow in the lottery would you still being doing the same thing you are doing now with your life, Dough? The answer is "yes". I'm always very conscious of that.

It is indeed a mistake to confuse children with angels

Sometimes you can't realize you're in a bad mood until another person enters your orbit.