You've seen what you've seen; you've felt what you've felt. Ideology is for people who don't trust their own experiences and perceptions of the world.

Books turn people into isolated individuals, and once that's happened, the road only grows rockier. Books wire you to want to be Steve McQueen, but the world wants you to be SMcQ23667bot@hotmail.com.

I am reminded that no matter how hard you try, you can never be more than twelve years old with your parents. Parents earnestly try not to inflame, but their comments contain no scale and a strange focus. Discussing your private life with parents is like misguidedly looking at a zit in a car's rearview mirror and being convinced, in the absence of contrast or context, that you have developed combined heat rash and skin cancer.

I tried to think of a witty play on Every picture tells a thousand words, but then the whole word/picture thing collapsed on me.

One of the cruelest things you can do to another person is pretend you care about them more than you really do.

Las Vegas is a SimCity game gone horribly wrong.

There's nothing cute or funny or lovable about being cheap. It's a total turn-off.