As the expression goes, we spend our youth attaining wealth, and our wealth attaining youth.

Nature is one great big wood-chipper. Sooner or later, everything shoots out the other end in a spray of blood, bones and hair.

Negative? Moi? I think realistic might be a better word. You mean to tell me we can drive all the way here from L.A. and see maybe ten thousand square miles of shopping malls, and you don't have maybe just the weentsiest inkling that something, somewhere has gone very very cuckoo?

Vaccinated Time Travel: To fantasize about traveling backward in time, but only with proper vaccinations.

I think God is how you deal with everything that's out of your own control.

With the first drink comes the truth, with the second drink comes wishful thinking, and with the third drink come the lies.

When someone tells you they’ve just bought a house, they might as well tell you they no longer have a personality. You can immediately assume so many things: that they’re locked into jobs they hate; that they’re broke; that they spend every night watching videos; that they’re fifteen pounds overweight; that they no longer listen to new ideas. It’s profoundly depressing.