All families are psychotic. Everybody has basically the same family - it's just reconfigured slightly different from one to the next.

A good piece of technology dreams of the day when it will be replaced by a newer piece of technology. This is one definition of progress.

When future archaeologists dig up the remains of California, they're going to find all of those gyms their scary-looking gym equipment, and they're going to assume that we were a culture obsessed with torture.

Making eye contact with adults while dressed as a clown is risky.

Remember: the time you feel lonely is the time you most need to be by yourself. Life's cruelest irony.

I'm an adult. Discipline me and I'll bury you alive. - Roger

Once you establish a look, and once everybody recognizes that look as your look, you never have to think about fashion again.