Only your customers can define quality, because it's meeting your customers' expectations the first time every time. Simply put, it's performance to the standards of the customer.

Whoever thought the future would feel so much like the present?

I'm always nervous about singing...always. It may be one of the only things I sweat about.

I'm having a mid-life crisis, so I thought instead of having sex with a stranger, I'd just get a new haircut. It's good clean fun without all the messy emotional baggage. It's just a haircut folks! It's not like I had an eye removed, or a leg added on! Live a little... it'll grow back!

'One Week' changed my life because I used to be the Million Dollars Guy, and now I'm the Chickity China Guy.

I think we should start a movement, and everyone should just start wearing metal pants to the airport.

I like sporks. They're like spoons, but you can poke people with them.